Search Results for: blog control issues in marriage money as a source of control

Protecting your Husband’s Health

Stress can come to all of us at times. Stress can cause all sorts of health issues, like heart disease, stomach ulcers, migraines, and, some believe, cancer. As much as possible try and keep stress to a minimum by trying to make your home a peaceful place. Make sure you both have a time to relax, enjoy a hobby and have couple time when you can talk things through. Don’t let your expectations put too much stress on your spouse. In this day and age money issues are a point of concern, so watch the spending so it does not … Continue reading →

Examining Control Issues

Does your relationship ever suffer from control issues? Not sure? If not, see if you answer yes to any of the following questions: • Do you ever see your spouse doing some task that is not the way you do it and tell them they’re doing it wrong? (And then proceed to show them how to do it right, a.k.a. “your way.”) • Has your spouse ever watched you do some task and commented that you’re not doing it right? (a.k.a. “their way”) • Do you ever not want your spouse to do some task because you know he or … Continue reading →

How Major of a Purchase Can You Make without Consulting Your Spouse?

Marriage is a unity. By the term unity it is meant that two join as one. All of the history of each individual and all of the future of the two are combined. As most courts see it, things are split equally. Because of this unity, most couples feel that communication and joint decisions should be made when important issues arise. These issues may be family related, job related, or money related. When it comes to money topics, couples share different views on how the money in the relationship is divided. Some couples have a completely shared account. Others prefer … Continue reading →

Financial Goals for Marriage

Finances and marriage are always a tough combination. There never seems to be enough money and sometimes, there can be too much. Both can be a potent one-two punch to a marriage’s balance and tranquility. Married to the Money Financially, my marriage has been in both boats. In the early years of our relationship, we always had excess cash. It sounds great and at times, it was great. But whenever we had difficulties in the relationship, we used money to repair problems. We’d buy presents or go do something extravagant. Retail therapy was a great panacea for all ills. What … Continue reading →

Today’s Dating Emasculates Men

Normally I watch the Today Show as I eat breakfast in the mornings, but today Providence saw fit I should flip over to CBS’s The Early Show. It was right before Julie Chen started interviewing April Beyer, a Relationship Coach and Matchmaker. Can We Ask a Man Out? I didn’t exactly care for the word choice Chen used when she was starting off the interview. “Can we ask a man out? Can we pay?” Duh! Of course we “can.” We can do anything we want. The better question, and what I think she was probably trying to get at, would … Continue reading →

Checking Accounts- Joint or Separate?

When two people unite, everything is 50/50 right? When a couple gets married I usually hear the saying, “what’s yours is mine”. So how does this work for money? I know many married couples from work and around the community where I live. With many different couples, there are many different ideas about sharing money in a marriage. Some couples are more willing to unite as one when it comes to their money. Other couples like for things to remain separate. Some couples I know follow the 50/50 rule to a tee. They have one checking account and both persons … Continue reading →

Fighting About Money Doesn’t Fix the Problem

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Money. Money. Money. It’s the guilty party in most marriages when it comes to fighting with your spouse. Whether you talk about your finances, pool your resources or leave it to one spouse or the other to manage it – money is a huge bone in the midst of any relationship. If you’re thinking that money is one of the leading causes of divorce, you’d be right. So How Do You Deal With It? Financial issues are the pink elephant in the middle of your marriage. But you have to recognize that fights about money aren’t just about money. Those … Continue reading →

Do You and Your Spouse Deal with Finances Together?

In some marriages, one spouse holds the “purse strings” (or the checkbook and passbook) while the other knows very little about the financial situation or has very little control over it. For some couples, this works fine because one spouse may prefer not to have the responsibility while the gladly takes it on. For other couples money can become an issue of control in their marriage. It seems like there should be a happy medium. Even if one person deals with the bills, balances the checkbook, applies a certain percentage of the household income to savings, and generally takes care … Continue reading →

People Treat Us how We Let Them

I frequently talk about putting our spouses first, being open and giving and generous in our relationships. I often mention that relationships are give and take, but I don’t concentrate a lot on the “take” part, since most of us are born with a stronger take gene than a give gene. However, we all have things in our lives that make an impact on us and sometimes troubles can leave us feeling vulnerable. We may then find it harder to stand up for ourselves whether it’s out of fear or whether it’s because we’re just tired of fighting. There are … Continue reading →

The Marriage Blog Week in Review for Jan 20-26

Good morning, if you noticed a curious lack of the marriage blog week in review, I have to plead guilty. I wrote most of it, but yesterday, my daughter had a birthday party and we went out together to attend. It was a roller skating party and for those of you who follow my fitness blog posts, you know that my daughter and I have been roller-skating a great deal frequently, well we enjoyed ourselves roller-skating, but I was whipped after an hour and half on the skates and my legs felt like spaghetti. I’ll talk more about that in … Continue reading →